Sometimes (almost all the time), grad school is really overwhelming. I'm talking sit-in-the-corner-and-wish-you-could-disappear overwhelming. Cry and mumble over the phone to your parents overwhelming (thank you parents, for listening to me even when you're tired of listening to me). So far, this semester has been brutal. Not the same brutal as my first semester of grad school, which I've almost entirely blocked from my memory, but exhausting and stressful nonetheless. In one sense its nice to know that if I chose to disappear for a few days midweek, people would definitely notice. But on the other hand, it would be so nice to spend a few days just sleeping and reading and pretending science doesn't exist (ie - spring break can't come soon enough).
Its overwhelming why-did-I-ever-do-this-to-myself times like this that I go on to Facebook and step back in time to January 2013 when I received my acceptance notification from UT. I was deliriously happy and in awe that such a renowned program would offer me the opportunity to be involved in it. I may have cried. My dream of extending the Longhorn legacy in my family while working towards a doctorate was actually going to happen. There are posts all over my Facebook wall from that period of time from friends and family sharing my excitement over the future. Its not hard to remember the amazing feelings that coursed through me during that time, especially following a recruitment weekend on campus and vividly remembering my own recruitment weekend.
Memories like this remind me to just shut up and deal with the crazy madness that is graduate school. Its exhausting and exhilarating and awful and stressful and an honor to be a part of. That being said, I'm still going to need you all to cross your fingers for me, cause the next couple months are going to get even more hectic.
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